This was probably my favorite lecture of this semester. She facilitated a discussion and allowed our ideas to come forth, instead of simply lecturing to us. I felt MUCH more involved in this.
1) Get involved in student service associations. The more involved she was, and the more busy she got with school, the better she did in school. She was a LOT happier working for causes besides herself.
2) It's the human skills that you learn in college that really helps you in real life, not the actual knowledge that you gain in your major courses.
3) In college, you learn how to learn.
4) Engage in class
5) What attributes come naturally to YOU for service and leadership?
-I love people. I love bringing happiness into their lives. I try to be humble and to listen. I try to rely upon the Lord and I try to look to Christ always as the guiding compass for my actions.
6) How are you using these gifts to serve people?
-We should always be trying to expand and move forward with our gifts and talents.
7) Life Suggestion: Every Christmas, instead of celebrating by ourselves and only with our families, find an opportunity to serve someone in circumstances more dire than ours. That will really help us to feel the spirit of Christ, the spirit of Christmas.
8) Instead of getting into a thoughtless routine, think about what we're doing and where we're going.
Quote by Marvin J. Ashton - Give the Lord what it means to be our best.
All of these things are things that I wish I had done in the past, things I wish I had known when I first entered college. Now, it's not too late, so when I get back from my mission, I am going to make sure to keep this in mind and to not forget. These are some truly precious pieces of wisdom to live life with. I am going to show this to my sister and be a leader to her in my brotherly way.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Leadership for Change - Tamara Gray
In this lecture, Tamara Gray drew from the book "The Influencer" from Vital Smarts. She talked about some interesting points. She said that in creating good habits and in getting out of bad habits, there are vital behaviors or vital moments that act as a positive feedback loop to these bad habits, or as a negative feedback loop to creating the good habits. In order to get out of bad habits and set good habits, we must identify these crucial moments that move us farther away from our goals, then target these specific moments to change our behavior so that we can move further towards our goal. We need to look for examples of positive deviance in our lives, so that we can look back upon them and recognize what it takes to do these good things and set good habits.
She talked about six steps to influencing people:
1) Personal Motivation - make the undesirable desirable. Story-telling can be used to motivate people to quit AIDS-inducing behavior in Tanzania. Vicarious experiences are even better to motivate people.
2) Personal Ability - surpass your limits. Demand deliberate practice. practice, break the skill into small parts, get feedback from a coach, prepare for setbacks.
3) Social Motivation - harness peer pressure. find strength in numbers by targeting the influencers. Pave the way and enlist the power of those who motivate.
4) Social Ability - Seek the support of those who make it possible for you to achieve.
5) Structural Motivation - design reward and accountability. link rewards to vital behaviors. abundance mentality - NOT the employee of the month, but rather motivate everyone. not just one person.
6) Structural Ability - change the environment. use the power of space, data and cues, and tools.
Most of this stuff truthfully went over my head, but I did learn something important about tackling problems - you gotta take em down at the crucial points. Then we can take our inner monsters and chase out any devils that are chasing us.
She talked about six steps to influencing people:
1) Personal Motivation - make the undesirable desirable. Story-telling can be used to motivate people to quit AIDS-inducing behavior in Tanzania. Vicarious experiences are even better to motivate people.
2) Personal Ability - surpass your limits. Demand deliberate practice. practice, break the skill into small parts, get feedback from a coach, prepare for setbacks.
3) Social Motivation - harness peer pressure. find strength in numbers by targeting the influencers. Pave the way and enlist the power of those who motivate.
4) Social Ability - Seek the support of those who make it possible for you to achieve.
5) Structural Motivation - design reward and accountability. link rewards to vital behaviors. abundance mentality - NOT the employee of the month, but rather motivate everyone. not just one person.
6) Structural Ability - change the environment. use the power of space, data and cues, and tools.
Most of this stuff truthfully went over my head, but I did learn something important about tackling problems - you gotta take em down at the crucial points. Then we can take our inner monsters and chase out any devils that are chasing us.
Seeking and Creating Leadership Opportunities - Elise May
Elise May, our BYUSA President came to speak to us about seeking and creating leadership opportunities. This rings true with the General Authority, I forgot who, that said that this world needs more leaders. We don't have to be CEO's or in positions of management to be leaders. We can all go about being leaders. This world needs leaders who have a vision of great things that are to come. This mentality of a destiny to fulfill gives us strength in times of hardship, times of obstacles, and times of momentary failure. When we have this strength, we can be sources of strength by providing a very positive and uplifting view of the future in this forsaken world to those who need it. We can give strength to others in this way, and not only that, we can truly try to love and show compassion for those around us by praying for them and really giving them acts of service when in times of need. This will not only make us leaders, this is something that contributes to the Lord's great Plan of Salvation.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Leadership in the Home & Community - Jenet Jacob
Dr. Jenet Jacob gave a lecture on Leadership in the Home and Community. From what she said, these are some of the things I found most memorable:
1. Though there may be many problems that we face as a family in today's world, eating dinner together regularly can help A LOT in keeping the family together and happy.
I thought this was quite surprising actually. The simple act of having dinner together can be such an all-encompassing solution? That's definitely something I can try to do in my own family.
2. Families that succeed are intentional - steering and paddling are the only ways to head north.
Another surprising fact. Families don't just succeed. You have to make it work, you have to keep paddling, you have to TRY to make a good family. These don't happen by accident.
3. "Many of the social restraints which in the past have helped to reinforce and to shore up the family are dissolving and disappearing. The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us." -Spencer W. Kimball-
I think those times may be now.
4. The Father's role in the family is three P's: Preside, Provide, and Protect. Presiding involves scheduling of space and time. That's the DAD's JOB! Not the mother's!
I realize the father's role as a Priesthood bearer makes him the patriarch of the family, and thus greatly responsible for the family. I think oftentimes we leave the planning to our mothers, but it's OUR role as fathers to make sure that we have regularly scheduled family time.
Ethical Leadership and Integrity - Vernon Heperi
"As I have experienced leadership that grows out of love I have found that it usually focuses on developing a climate of trust with is interpersonal integrity in which individuals can accept the individuality of others without sanctioning all of their behavior or words. Therefore, in a climate of trust, individuals can give open, candid reactions to what is right and what is wrong." -Neal A. Maxwell-
"In trust there can be no manipulation, no hidden agenda, no saccharine sweetness which minimizes real problems. Instead, in the leadership of love, there is a congruency in concepts, ocnduct, and concern, a unity appropriate to membership in The Church of him who taught a oneness that could be achieved without risking individuality." -Neal A. Maxwell-
"It's not between you and them. It's between you and God." -Mother Teresa-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_90gOmxprhM
This video that Brother Heperi showed us was quite amazing. It made me want to be a child again; because that's when I was so happy and positive. I never judged anybody and I never could understand why people could hate each other so, and I could not understand why people fought. But as life went on, I realized that life wasn't full of goodness and mercy. There was anger, fear, regret, doubt, lust, and all kinds of pollution that fogged up our souls of divine origin. That is how I understand, to some degree, why the scriptures tell us become as children. We must be as children to always do good continually, without getting tired or exhausted, because that is the way we live! We must do good even when others do bad because that is how we live. I believe that a great leader is one who understands these principles. I believe that a great leader is one who encapsulates these principles in their core and live these principles in their lives.
"In trust there can be no manipulation, no hidden agenda, no saccharine sweetness which minimizes real problems. Instead, in the leadership of love, there is a congruency in concepts, ocnduct, and concern, a unity appropriate to membership in The Church of him who taught a oneness that could be achieved without risking individuality." -Neal A. Maxwell-
"It's not between you and them. It's between you and God." -Mother Teresa-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_90gOmxprhM
This video that Brother Heperi showed us was quite amazing. It made me want to be a child again; because that's when I was so happy and positive. I never judged anybody and I never could understand why people could hate each other so, and I could not understand why people fought. But as life went on, I realized that life wasn't full of goodness and mercy. There was anger, fear, regret, doubt, lust, and all kinds of pollution that fogged up our souls of divine origin. That is how I understand, to some degree, why the scriptures tell us become as children. We must be as children to always do good continually, without getting tired or exhausted, because that is the way we live! We must do good even when others do bad because that is how we live. I believe that a great leader is one who understands these principles. I believe that a great leader is one who encapsulates these principles in their core and live these principles in their lives.
Conflict Resolution - John Pace
"For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad." -2 Nephi 2:11-
What I got from this quote is that conflict isn't a bad thing! In fact, conflict is an essential part of life, and if there were no conflict, God, nor us would exist!
"Conflict is the source of all growth and an absolute necessity if one is to be alive..." -Jean Baker Miller-
Morton Deutsch said that the basic question isn't how to prevent conflict, but how to prevent conflict from being destructive. The point is not to eliminate the conflict, but how to make it productive (The Resolution of Conflict, New Haven and London: Yale University Press, 1973, p.17-18).
Overall, I daresay that this is a healthy balance of conflict-resolution methods as different situations call for different methods of resolution. For example, when a fight is about to blow up in your face, you don't want to compete or compromise or collaborate with the person. For now, you want to accommodate and avoid until tempers have cooled down and both parties are ready to speak constructively and actively engage in order to resolve the issues.
What I got from this quote is that conflict isn't a bad thing! In fact, conflict is an essential part of life, and if there were no conflict, God, nor us would exist!
"Conflict is the source of all growth and an absolute necessity if one is to be alive..." -Jean Baker Miller-
Morton Deutsch said that the basic question isn't how to prevent conflict, but how to prevent conflict from being destructive. The point is not to eliminate the conflict, but how to make it productive (The Resolution of Conflict, New Haven and London: Yale University Press, 1973, p.17-18).
This is the conflict behavior model. The highest point, as we can see, is collaboration. I took the Thomas-Kilman Conflict Mode Instrument quiz and my results were as follows:
Competing - 3
Collaborating - 9
Compromising - 6
Avoiding - 4
Accomodating - 8
"We can't be agents of peace until our own hearts are at peace" and "While a heart at peace alone won't solve your complex outer problems, those problems can't begin to be solved without it" (The Anatomy of Peace, Arbinger Institute, p.157, 198). These quotes stuck to my heart because there was a situation in my leadership role in which that very principle was demonstrated. So one morning, I woke up my roommate to cook breakfast, as we had agreed upon just the night before. However, my roommate was not in a very good mood, and in his annoyance, he spake minor words of annoyance and then left the room. I was at first, surprised by how ludicrous it was to see a man forget the agreement he had just made the night before and allow his anger to flow out to an innocent person. Then, I started to get angry at the thought of his actions. My violent urges started to flow in my heart. Then, knowing that I was not feeling the spirit, I got down on my knees and prayed unto the Lord to soothe my heart, and to help me forgive my roommate. I prayed three more times after that and by the time I had calmed my heart, I was ready to go out. So I went out into the living room and asked my roommate if we should make breakfast now. My roommate was surprised at how calm I was. He had expected me to get angry at him, but seeing my countenance so calm and peaceful, a light of respect seemed to enter his eyes. We made breakfast together and we went back to being loving roommates. It is so true that there must be peace at heart in order for us to resolve our issues. If I had not taken the effort to tame my anger, I would have most undoubtedly started up a fight with my roommate.
Christian Courage: The Price of Discipleship
"We should be like Edward Partridge, of whom the Lord said, 'His heart is pure before me, for he is like unto Nathanael of old, in whom there is no guile' (DC 41:11). To be guileless is to have a childlike innocence, to be slow to take offense and quick to forgive... To be guileless is to look for our own fault first... Without guile, true disciples avoid being unduly judgmental of others' views" (Ensign, Nov 2009, p.72-75).
Friday, October 23, 2009
Teamwork - Tom Holmoe
This week's lecture was given by Tom Holmoe, Director of Athletics at BYU. This lecture was one of the best lectures that I listened to this semester for this class. One adage he gave us I particularly liked: "Vision without effort is daydreaming, effort without vision is drudgery." I thought it was a good lesson. Especially in my life because I had been going through these problems. Sometimes, I feel that I have goals and desires, but I am not doing anything to bring these dreams to pass. So I forget myself and work hard to get things done. Then, when I look up, I realize that I've worn myself out after a short period of time. So I lift up my head, and remember what it is that I am working towards. By combining vision with diligence, life becomes truly productive and inspiring.
Another thing that was memorable about this presentation was the idea of fire-starters and fire-fighters. Fire-starters are people who bring you up. They are people who, wherever they go, light fires. They help people to see the silver lining in the grey clouds; they lift up those around them to help them realize their God-given potential; they feed your passions and your desires.
Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are fire-fighters. These are people who, whether done intentionally or unintentionally, bring you down. These people are people who see the glass of milk as half-empty. These people don't want, nor expect you to succeed. They discourage you, and have the cumulative effect of drawing you away from your dreams and desires.
Tom Holmoe's advice in pertaining to these two categories of people was that we should surround ourselves with fire-starters and get away from fire-fighters. On a basic, needs-based level, this advice is relevant. Constantly listening to words of discouragement are very harmful to you, while listening to words of encouragement are very good for our health and strength. However, there were some points brought up in our lab section that provoked a little more thought. What if you are on a team with a fire-fighter? Then it wouldn't be so simple as getting away from that person. Even with fire-fighters, it is necessary to draw upon the strengths of that team member to produce the best results in the best environment. I delved more into why people might want to bring me down.
Sometimes, people want to bring others down because they feel the other is better than them. They feel threatened by the other, and they don't like others taking up all the "glory." However, if the other can be a leader and foster an atmosphere in which they do not take up all the attention, but make sure to bring about an atmosphere in which the fire-fighter is recognized for his/her efforts, ultimately that fire-fighter's need to be recognized will be resolved. Then the fire-fighter will look to others to help them. Thus it is that we, as leaders, must respect and love for the fire-fighter whom we may have hardships with. Then, it is possible for them to focus their energies and talents on constructive efforts to build up their skill-base, and contribute to them, instead of wasting their energies caught up in being critical of others and cynical. I realized that was a solution. However, even when we respect and love that person, that person still maintains an attitude of criticism and cynicism, or if that person becomes consumed only with self-glorification, it is still the best thing to respect and love that person instead of seeking to "teach him a lesson."
To be a fire-starter, I realized that I must be a visionary. I must be able to see the potential in people, to believe in that potential, so that I can contribute to their growth by stoking their flames. Luckily, none of my roommates are fire-fighters. However, they are not fire-starters. They mostly like to keep to themselves, and are content with working for themselves. The next step that I can see from here is to help them become fire-starters as well. I can be an example to them, by being the best fire-starter I can be. When they realize what I am doing, I know that they will seek to bring about good all around them as well.
Another thing that was memorable about this presentation was the idea of fire-starters and fire-fighters. Fire-starters are people who bring you up. They are people who, wherever they go, light fires. They help people to see the silver lining in the grey clouds; they lift up those around them to help them realize their God-given potential; they feed your passions and your desires.
Now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, there are fire-fighters. These are people who, whether done intentionally or unintentionally, bring you down. These people are people who see the glass of milk as half-empty. These people don't want, nor expect you to succeed. They discourage you, and have the cumulative effect of drawing you away from your dreams and desires.
Tom Holmoe's advice in pertaining to these two categories of people was that we should surround ourselves with fire-starters and get away from fire-fighters. On a basic, needs-based level, this advice is relevant. Constantly listening to words of discouragement are very harmful to you, while listening to words of encouragement are very good for our health and strength. However, there were some points brought up in our lab section that provoked a little more thought. What if you are on a team with a fire-fighter? Then it wouldn't be so simple as getting away from that person. Even with fire-fighters, it is necessary to draw upon the strengths of that team member to produce the best results in the best environment. I delved more into why people might want to bring me down.
Sometimes, people want to bring others down because they feel the other is better than them. They feel threatened by the other, and they don't like others taking up all the "glory." However, if the other can be a leader and foster an atmosphere in which they do not take up all the attention, but make sure to bring about an atmosphere in which the fire-fighter is recognized for his/her efforts, ultimately that fire-fighter's need to be recognized will be resolved. Then the fire-fighter will look to others to help them. Thus it is that we, as leaders, must respect and love for the fire-fighter whom we may have hardships with. Then, it is possible for them to focus their energies and talents on constructive efforts to build up their skill-base, and contribute to them, instead of wasting their energies caught up in being critical of others and cynical. I realized that was a solution. However, even when we respect and love that person, that person still maintains an attitude of criticism and cynicism, or if that person becomes consumed only with self-glorification, it is still the best thing to respect and love that person instead of seeking to "teach him a lesson."
To be a fire-starter, I realized that I must be a visionary. I must be able to see the potential in people, to believe in that potential, so that I can contribute to their growth by stoking their flames. Luckily, none of my roommates are fire-fighters. However, they are not fire-starters. They mostly like to keep to themselves, and are content with working for themselves. The next step that I can see from here is to help them become fire-starters as well. I can be an example to them, by being the best fire-starter I can be. When they realize what I am doing, I know that they will seek to bring about good all around them as well.
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